Anjani Siddhartha

CONFESSIONS. Part 2

Twice I shaved my head to change my life…it didn’t work, the issue is the mind,
a beard and a tunic does not a guru makes …

I read the Bible and the Koran , the Vedas and more blah , blah, blah …
but nothing came closer to my heart than the Lankavatara sutra of Buddha, The Ashtavakra Gita
and the beauty of lord Hanuman.

I traveled to many countries and found it is not the land, the wisdom was in me all the time.

In life as in bed, it does not matter if you are Hindu or French…you have or don’t have what it takes.

At 14 in Colombia I saw the cruelty of life: the beauty of a young girl run over by a big car…
her head under the truck tire…the red blood coming out of her open mouth running down…

I knew then there was not “God”.

It started my search to find real answers to the riddle of life.

Lived in many temples…listening to the nonsense of so called Gurus and priests and “sacred” books
with false beliefs, instilling fear to try and make me a sheep.

Ran away…to the mountains to find relief…like Gautama, sitting under a tree, observing life and being free.

Found happiness looking at the bees, obtained wisdom just by being me… disentangled myself from this world
of fantasy and realized that as real as it seems, long hair or not hair ..who cares!
this is just another dream…

anjani

Dec/3/2013

I AM the One—
Awareness itself.

In the jungle of society

mind finds no rest.

lifetime after lifetime.

being here, being there, 

this and that

the nature of things.

I  Realize this and live in
serenity and harmony even

despite the tears and the laughter…

to be born,to enjoy, to suffer loss and pain, to die

happiness, misery, come and go ….

I am not the body—even that I 

do not deny myself physical pleasures…

I am Awareness itself

I AM free, happy, serene…

Anjani

Nov.12, 2013

POEMA MISTICO
Did Kabir said that? was it Krishna that whispered to Arjuna in the battlefield? or maybe prince Gautama's lips uttered to his cousin Ananda....

Hubbard, Adi Da or Vivekananda maybe Shankara wrote about it...
oh, let's not forget my dear Osho !
I don't give a damn because I don't borrow from strangers hearts,
I open my own roads with my bare hands...

break walls made of fancy astral bricks when walking on air
outside this body-mind.

"Sacred books" decorate the walls of my rooms, besides that I write my own with ink made of blood and tears...

They said: "do this, don't do that " I laugh at the absurdity of  fancy talk ! I am free ...don't walk on top of footsteps that lead nowhere...

And don't follow me, you will get lost in the maze of dreamland...
I travel alone smiling alone the way.

Anjani Siddhartha
nov. 5, 2013

I will NEVER stop loving because of suffering.

I am like a sunflower, my face ALWAYS turns towards the sun...

My feet barely touches the ground...

My body always shakes when it feels the right presence near by.

Am I writing this ? I ask... I just maybe a pencil for the unknown.

when all this will end, I just don't know...

All I can do for now is keep the laughter, the tears, the hugs...

the pretense of carrying a body that gives me pleasure while

pain awaits on the other door...

anjani

Oct. 31, 2013

They say live in the present...but I live in a world of dreams.
even while driving, I don't just drive on the streets, but on
soft golden clouds that cushion my fantasies...

And the person next to me, becomes a warrior or a lover
in a corner of my little universe made of tiny threads of energy.

And when I get home, I just can't eat without feeling that my body
is devouring a parcel of life's many gifts....

When I go to bed, it is just the same...the dreaming continues in a
lucid and clear way...I float and dance under raindrops that fall on
my astral shoulders made of soft silk like materials that shines
under the light of triangular stars...all this done while my body still
lays in bed...

anjani
Oct. 30 , 2013

"Anjani, la Déesse des mille visages avec un grand coeur. " 
"Anjani, the Goddess of a thousand faces with a big heart".
"Anjani la Diosa de las mil caras con un gran corazon."

Here it comes again...
the feeling of being in a place I can't make my own...
where the rules don't apply to me.

where flesh decays...the continuum feeding of a society that
goes nowhere.

Religions abound...too many buddhists, but small amount of buddhas.
All feeling their grasp of the "truth" is the real thing...ah ! what an illusion...
only if they knew , that this is just a dream world...where you can believe
anything as long as you "think" it is the way it works.

But, as usual, I don't really care anymore...or maybe I do a little
bit...enough to write this silly words..

Secrets behind secrets...
electric veils will cover their truth.

I Rest in places seldom visited by human flesh,
mansions of pleasure abound waiting for my presence...

I count my lovers like counting the stars, but my true friends
I can count with the fingers of my left hand.

When you think you know me, I disappear in a cloud of golden dust.
It appears I am here …in reality
I live in a dream within a dream...beyond the astral plane...


Anjani Siddhartha
the cosmic, mystic dreamer

I am real

I AM REAL

I AM REAL…FLESH AND BLOOD AND TEARS…

EVEN KNOWING THE MYSTERY THAT LIES BEYOND,

I FEEL THE PAIN , I FEEL THE JOY,

I MAKE MISTAKES BUT ARE FULL OF LOVE.

I AM REAL...

NOT A SIMPLE DOLL, THAT NEVER MOVES , THAT NEVER

TALKS.

I CLOSE MY EYES AND TRY TO SLEEP,  DREAM ABOUT YOU

AND FLY WITHOUT WINGS… WAKE UP, ALONE IN BED,

THE HEAVY FEELING OF BEING ON EARTH AGAIN…

I AM REAL

SAID SILLY WORDS, DANCE ACROSS THE FLOOR…

GET NAKED IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR AND LOOK FOR FLAWS…

I SEE MY BODY STARTING TO GET OLD…

TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT TOMORROW , JUST WAIT AND

LIVE THE HERE-NOW THE WAY IT COMES. 

I AM REAL

CAN'T FIND WORDS TO WRITE THE WAY I FEEL ,

IT WILL SUFFICE  TO SAY

THAT 

I AM REAL…

Anjani Siddhartha

Oct. 17. 2013

Time..seems so real, but it is just a cloud dream...passing above my illusions of living life
as I see fits...
thinking on my own, feeling on my own, not with borrowed words, standing alone in the
middle of a universe I made out of mind-clay.

Anjani the sexy, anjani the guru lady, anjani the one who can see beyond flesh...
ha!
I get tired of living for a moment, of the repetition of waves and light...but then , as in
a magic act, anjani comes alive to play the game of earthlife.

How long will it go like this? it has happened before, in lives long gone...as if
time was real !

anjani, jan. 14 2013

Observo la libertad que poseo..no soy esclava de dioses inexistentes ni me arrodillo ante altares tejidos de ignorancia.
Libre de ser como deseo sin reglas impuestas por el deseo ajeno...
Camino sin miedo a infiernos inventados ni esperando cielos imaginados por mentes que se ilusionan por miedo a estar en soledad eternamente.
Me rio tanto de la vida tanto como de la muerte aparente..he descubierto el "secreto" de la vida mas alla de la carne y los huesos que se acaban, lo mismo que la mente....
Ya este mundo se convierte en un lugar donde juego a emociones
sean de sexo, tantra yoga o que se yo...todo es lo mismo para mi, que vivo en el presente...

anjani
ag. 29, 2013

anjani siddhartha

anjani siddhartha: Fear of death is identification with the body... " There has never been a time when you and I have not existed, nor will there be a time when we will cease to exist." shri krishna

awake...

Many nights awake by images of past lives,
forgetting the present for a moment
and seeing the future in a flash...

Body is an entity that will not last,
beyond the bones and flesh there is a light.

Will I ever be back ?
not on this planet, but to the ones on the other side...

future, present , past, here, there, anywhere, nowhere
are just words without meaning in this
dream called life.

anjani
aug. 9, 2013

....of dreams

In my dreams I paint like Joan Miro and Picasso,
I speak fluent French and Sanskrit too !
... and not only with the living...

I write epic poems like Homer did,
I hear voices just like Yogis do...
I walk naked like a whore or a Sadhu.

You would be amazed at my skills with
Shaolin poles and tai chi swords,
I play all musical instruments as Yann Tiersen does...

I fly properly all by myself and visit Elan in
his home planet of Essassani.
I swim underwater and jump on the back of dolphins.

Some weeks ago, I saw two moons and two suns...

anjani, june 26, 2013

inspired by
"in praise of dreams"
by
wislawa szymborska

anjani siddhartha essassani zeta reticuli

Mi life...

My life is like a french movie,
mi vida es como una película francesa,
full of nostalgia and poetry...
llena de nostalgia y poesia...

As colorful as Monet's gardens,
tan colorida como los jardines de Monet,
Dramatic as the life of Van Goth and Maupassant.
Dramatica como la vida de Van Goth y Maupassant.

Mystic as Buddha's smile...
mistica como la sonrisa de Buddha...

I remember the exact date when I left mind behind,
the first glimpses of a "past life"…
the turning point of my enlightenment…
But wait ! if time is not real, if all happens in
the here-now, simultaneously …does
future and past cease to exist and become
just another earth game ? ja !
it is said that
Rules of conduct, detachment, renunciation, asceticism—what are these to one, Anjani,who sees the unreality of things, who is the Light of Awareness?
I left behind fools who could never see beyond
the flesh
I may never see them again…and all that is well,
because this present life is made of moments,
and I will always be present in the eternal flame
of life….

anjani

june 19, 2013

Anjani

I laugh at the absurdity of life...
yes, a buddha can also cry.
my tears as genuine as the tattoos in my arms,
yes, a buddha can enjoy the pleasure of sex and
the bites on my back...they take me to faraway lands,
where there is no pain, no words of fools and no silly
mind.
I use my body as the bridge to pass into another
dimensions and leave all all behind.
Friends? don't need any... when I ride the wind I forget
the future and the past...living spontaneously for the moment
that is my game-plan.
you get close to me and think "she is just another one",
just don't  get too close, you may burn your hands...
I am a Buddha full of laughter and yes...even cries...

Anjani Siddhartha
june 13, 2013

Turning back the clock of non-existing time,
looking thru a windowless piece of glass.
writing nonsense just to let the hours pass by.

I see a non-future past, all is here, in the instant of my broken heart.
Feeling tired of waiting for the incoming flow of light that will
take me away from this mess that is my life.

JA ! I tried to laugh at the vulgar nature of pretending to care...
gone, gone beyond the fact.

The repetition of sounds, visual landscapes and ten fingers in my hands,
the smells of tandori chicken, as if walking on the streets of India with
my feet full of sand.
The tingling in my private parts, itching for a real man, that will fill me
with pleasure  even for one night...feeling lips between my legs...
and one more and one more... an endless number of hands touching the soft
skin of my back... moaning in pleasure for a moment similar to
the nirvana of the Hindu Gods.
Flesh is here...flesh not here, I don't mind...mind and body disappear
in a flash...
from the distance, (as if time and distance were real), I observe the
exploration of dimensions that opens up;  new sensations, not sensations,
and I realized,
it is only in my freedom I can fly, this dream world is just one of many
where I can touch my body with no hands...

anjani

03-13-2013

I don't give a damn what you think of me... I care less of your insidious look.
My time is up, your time is up....
we are all terminal, life on earth is but a fetus breath, weak and faint...
it will soon expires, so I just keep on enjoying the sensual pleasure of
hand and bodies coming together ...
of a cigar smoked while playing with
myself reading Buddha's words on the Lankavatara Sutra.
drink my dark and strong Colombian-African coffee mix with a piece
of sweet cake while listening to Pantera and AC/DC...
Watch my pretty face in a broken mirror, dance away with hits of the 80's & 90's,
dress in sexy clothes for my own pleasure....
laugh and cry alone in my room like a mad sadhu... holy Indian man gone crazy
with divine madness,
not gods to kneel to,
not heaven to aspire to, or hells to fear.
Beyond boundaries of mind, of borrowed sets of beliefs,
buddha, osho, krishna, hubbard, adi da , bashar and even elan....names
that mean nothing to my heart, maybe hanuman the monkey "god",
who is tattooed on my left arm , closest to my heart...
Just like him I can fly, become big or small with wish of no-mind...
no-body gets out alive in this game called human life... only
the witness of the silly point-of-view called living light.

anjani

march 13, 2013

I am a ghost...
I am here and there and nowhere in a mind's wish.

And like a soft breeze, can not be grasped by anyone.

When you thing you got me, I slip thru your fingers,
and just as the light of a Fallen star that you see for just a moment,
but as you blink, it disappears..never to be seen again...


anjani feb 24, 2013

anjani siddhartha in buddhaland

Here it is again...
the feeling of being in a place I can't make my own...
where the rules don't apply to me,
where flesh decays...the continuum of feeding a society that
goes nowhere.
Religions abound...too many buddhists, but small amount of buddhas.
All feeling their grasp of the "truth" is the real thing...ah ! what an illusion...
only if they knew , that this is just a dream world...where you can believe
anything as long as you "think" it is the way it works.
But, as usual, I don't really care anymore...or maybe I do a little
bit...enough to write this silly words..

anjani siddhartha
jan. 15, 2012

Anjani Siddhartha the cosmic, mystic dreamer

Secrets behind secrets...
no veils will cover their truth.
resting in places seldom visited by human flesh,
mansions of pleasure abound waiting for my presence...
9 friends...a thousand lovers...
when you think you know me, I disappear in a cloud of golden dust.
I live in a dream within a dream...flying without wings...
beyond the astral plane...

Anjani Siddhartha
the cosmic, mystic dreamer

jan. 14, 2013

anjani siddhartha

time..seems so real, but it is just a cloud dream...passing above my illusions of living life
as I see fits...
thinking on my own, feeling on my own, not with borrowed words, standing alone in the
middle of a universe I made out of mind-clay.

Anjani the sexy, anjani the guru lady, anjani the one who can see beyond flesh...
ha!
I get tired of living for a moment, of the repetition of waves and light...but then , as in
a magic act, anjani comes alive to play the game of earthlife.

How long will it go like this? it has happened before, in lives long gone...as if
time was real !

anjani, jan. 14 2013