I will NEVER stop loving because of suffering.

I am like a sunflower, my face ALWAYS turns towards the sun...

My feet barely touches the ground...

My body always shakes when it feels the right presence near by.

Am I writing this ? I ask... I just maybe a pencil for the unknown.

when all this will end, I just don't know...

All I can do for now is keep the laughter, the tears, the hugs...

the pretense of carrying a body that gives me pleasure while

pain awaits on the other door...

anjani

Oct. 31, 2013

They say live in the present...but I live in a world of dreams.
even while driving, I don't just drive on the streets, but on
soft golden clouds that cushion my fantasies...

And the person next to me, becomes a warrior or a lover
in a corner of my little universe made of tiny threads of energy.

And when I get home, I just can't eat without feeling that my body
is devouring a parcel of life's many gifts....

When I go to bed, it is just the same...the dreaming continues in a
lucid and clear way...I float and dance under raindrops that fall on
my astral shoulders made of soft silk like materials that shines
under the light of triangular stars...all this done while my body still
lays in bed...

anjani
Oct. 30 , 2013

"Anjani, la Déesse des mille visages avec un grand coeur. " 
"Anjani, the Goddess of a thousand faces with a big heart".
"Anjani la Diosa de las mil caras con un gran corazon."

Here it comes again...
the feeling of being in a place I can't make my own...
where the rules don't apply to me.

where flesh decays...the continuum feeding of a society that
goes nowhere.

Religions abound...too many buddhists, but small amount of buddhas.
All feeling their grasp of the "truth" is the real thing...ah ! what an illusion...
only if they knew , that this is just a dream world...where you can believe
anything as long as you "think" it is the way it works.

But, as usual, I don't really care anymore...or maybe I do a little
bit...enough to write this silly words..

Secrets behind secrets...
electric veils will cover their truth.

I Rest in places seldom visited by human flesh,
mansions of pleasure abound waiting for my presence...

I count my lovers like counting the stars, but my true friends
I can count with the fingers of my left hand.

When you think you know me, I disappear in a cloud of golden dust.
It appears I am here …in reality
I live in a dream within a dream...beyond the astral plane...


Anjani Siddhartha
the cosmic, mystic dreamer

I am real

I AM REAL

I AM REAL…FLESH AND BLOOD AND TEARS…

EVEN KNOWING THE MYSTERY THAT LIES BEYOND,

I FEEL THE PAIN , I FEEL THE JOY,

I MAKE MISTAKES BUT ARE FULL OF LOVE.

I AM REAL...

NOT A SIMPLE DOLL, THAT NEVER MOVES , THAT NEVER

TALKS.

I CLOSE MY EYES AND TRY TO SLEEP,  DREAM ABOUT YOU

AND FLY WITHOUT WINGS… WAKE UP, ALONE IN BED,

THE HEAVY FEELING OF BEING ON EARTH AGAIN…

I AM REAL

SAID SILLY WORDS, DANCE ACROSS THE FLOOR…

GET NAKED IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR AND LOOK FOR FLAWS…

I SEE MY BODY STARTING TO GET OLD…

TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT TOMORROW , JUST WAIT AND

LIVE THE HERE-NOW THE WAY IT COMES. 

I AM REAL

CAN'T FIND WORDS TO WRITE THE WAY I FEEL ,

IT WILL SUFFICE  TO SAY

THAT 

I AM REAL…

Anjani Siddhartha

Oct. 17. 2013