Anjani

Who is Anjani?
The physical expression of the beyond…

My life cannot fit in an amazon.com little box.
Many things I can’t explain with words,
it will become just another philosophy
and there is not need for another
one in this crowded world.

Don’t care what others “see”,
I can “see” well on my own.

Digging myself out of this hole with
bare hands to reach the gold.

Who am I but the richest of all !
empty mind, bubble butt… don’t
care if “anjani” lives or dies, it will
happen today or when many years pass.

Listening to Def Leppard and pole dancing in
high heels in a bar,
or placing flowers on my Hanuman altar,
I just go with the ebb and flow of live.

Anjani

jan. 27, 2014

TALKING TO MYSELF (without making any sense )

I used to like the fresh aroma of your lips , 

now you eat chinese and indian food and the nice smell is gone for good.

I will teach you how to drive, but you can't even buy a cheap car.

The dirty clothes that are laying around, they are not mine...

they belong to somebody else that just left town.

You said tomorrow change will come, but when I wake up, I still see the sun,

It seems like life still around....

Who is to blame for the spilled coffee on my table? It wasn’t there nine months ago...

One day I will stop counting the stars, now I am at 108, which equals 9....

No, I am not longer looking for the meaning of life,

I am just trying to find the shoes that I bought in my last trip to France...

My father died at 90 and my mom at 69...there it goes again, the sacred number 9 ! 

Always present in my life.

I don’t eat sushi or shrimp...pasta is easy to make for a lazy girl like me.

I remember the hare krishna guys singing at a park at dawn,

I danced with them until I fell to the ground,

I was just 16 but recognized that sound: a past life in india singing with another crowd...!

Life unexpected turns and twists used to make my head spin,

now I am getting used to be human, and just ride the wind....

My words and images are not surprise on the internet now,

it is a place full of "experts" that "knows" you are "wrong" and each

hold the crown...

Better go to sleep, time for another night to dream about this dream,

forget the words, this world and go float somewhere else...

Anjani

Jan. 2014

anjani

Standing and waiting for the one that never comes…

I can hear his footsteps behind me,

but when I look no one is there.

Been waiting for so long, a few lifetimes it seems,

I will not be here when he decides to show.

Do not take my tears as a sign of weakness,

they just proof that I am still human.

Earth is another word for pain:

behind the laughter of a party there is

the smell of death…

Do not try to fool me with imaginary 

heavens and hells.

leave those to scared children…

my only fear is losing you again.

Oh well, you decided not to come,

I have nothing else to say….

Anji

Jan. 2014

Anjani Siddhartha

CONFESSIONS. Part 2

Twice I shaved my head to change my life…it didn’t work, the issue is the mind,
a beard and a tunic does not a guru makes …

I read the Bible and the Koran , the Vedas and more blah , blah, blah …
but nothing came closer to my heart than the Lankavatara sutra of Buddha, The Ashtavakra Gita
and the beauty of lord Hanuman.

I traveled to many countries and found it is not the land, the wisdom was in me all the time.

In life as in bed, it does not matter if you are Hindu or French…you have or don’t have what it takes.

At 14 in Colombia I saw the cruelty of life: the beauty of a young girl run over by a big car…
her head under the truck tire…the red blood coming out of her open mouth running down…

I knew then there was not “God”.

It started my search to find real answers to the riddle of life.

Lived in many temples…listening to the nonsense of so called Gurus and priests and “sacred” books
with false beliefs, instilling fear to try and make me a sheep.

Ran away…to the mountains to find relief…like Gautama, sitting under a tree, observing life and being free.

Found happiness looking at the bees, obtained wisdom just by being me… disentangled myself from this world
of fantasy and realized that as real as it seems, long hair or not hair ..who cares!
this is just another dream…

anjani

Dec/3/2013