anjani siddhartha

Today's Thoughts

Your name was my mantra which I no longer chant…
Your face was my yantra but it was made of sand.

The taste of my coffee is good and strong, it smells
much better now that you are gone.

The sun shines brighter, moon seems bigger and
there is fire in my pants.

A new beginning…a brighter light,
can it be for real this time?
(what is real anyway in dreamland? )

There is not need to steal from me,
all I have I give…even if it is just sharing
my fantasies.

I close my eyes and count 1,2,3…3,2,1 ,
open them and all is fine !

I don’t need to bathe in the Ganges, Yamuna and
Saraswati rivers,
Now I just live like this:
“The body is strained by practices. The tongue tires of scripture.The mind numbs with meditation. Detached from all this, I live as I am.” (the ashtavakra gita)
Anjani
Jan. 31/14

anjani siddhartha

Today I can write the saddest song…

I knew this love will not survive this long.

Some say stay strong…

I just shop for a sexy dress and feel ready

to sing a new song.

I may just fool around and not get involved,

like Buddha said: attachment brings pain…

even the Sadhus feel the rain.

But who knows the secret that lies below?

under the surface, when we may think 

we will never fall.

Today is a new day but it seems the same.

I do miss the touch, the smile and the kisses under

the covers and making love…

I wake up everyday with Hanuman’s alarm clock,

the soothing music refresh the soul,

but as soon as night comes, the lonely bed 

burns down the heart’s core.

Hey ! i should be crying instead I laugh…

I should be mourning instead I dance.

let’s see who is the lucky one that will

come into my new life…even for just one night.

anjani

jan. 28/14

Anjani

Who is Anjani?
The physical expression of the beyond…

My life cannot fit in an amazon.com little box.
Many things I can’t explain with words,
it will become just another philosophy
and there is not need for another
one in this crowded world.

Don’t care what others “see”,
I can “see” well on my own.

Digging myself out of this hole with
bare hands to reach the gold.

Who am I but the richest of all !
empty mind, bubble butt… don’t
care if “anjani” lives or dies, it will
happen today or when many years pass.

Listening to Def Leppard and pole dancing in
high heels in a bar,
or placing flowers on my Hanuman altar,
I just go with the ebb and flow of live.

Anjani

jan. 27, 2014

TALKING TO MYSELF (without making any sense )

I used to like the fresh aroma of your lips , 

now you eat chinese and indian food and the nice smell is gone for good.

I will teach you how to drive, but you can't even buy a cheap car.

The dirty clothes that are laying around, they are not mine...

they belong to somebody else that just left town.

You said tomorrow change will come, but when I wake up, I still see the sun,

It seems like life still around....

Who is to blame for the spilled coffee on my table? It wasn’t there nine months ago...

One day I will stop counting the stars, now I am at 108, which equals 9....

No, I am not longer looking for the meaning of life,

I am just trying to find the shoes that I bought in my last trip to France...

My father died at 90 and my mom at 69...there it goes again, the sacred number 9 ! 

Always present in my life.

I don’t eat sushi or shrimp...pasta is easy to make for a lazy girl like me.

I remember the hare krishna guys singing at a park at dawn,

I danced with them until I fell to the ground,

I was just 16 but recognized that sound: a past life in india singing with another crowd...!

Life unexpected turns and twists used to make my head spin,

now I am getting used to be human, and just ride the wind....

My words and images are not surprise on the internet now,

it is a place full of "experts" that "knows" you are "wrong" and each

hold the crown...

Better go to sleep, time for another night to dream about this dream,

forget the words, this world and go float somewhere else...

Anjani

Jan. 2014

anjani

Standing and waiting for the one that never comes…

I can hear his footsteps behind me,

but when I look no one is there.

Been waiting for so long, a few lifetimes it seems,

I will not be here when he decides to show.

Do not take my tears as a sign of weakness,

they just proof that I am still human.

Earth is another word for pain:

behind the laughter of a party there is

the smell of death…

Do not try to fool me with imaginary 

heavens and hells.

leave those to scared children…

my only fear is losing you again.

Oh well, you decided not to come,

I have nothing else to say….

Anji

Jan. 2014