TALKING TO MY IMAGINARY LOVER
Please pull up your pillow a little higher, I want to
rest my weary head across your hairless chest,
run my fingers throughout your tummy with closed
eyes and soft breath.
Por favor, answer me these questions
that are burning in my mind:
why do we all have to die?
what is the purpose of this short, short life?
My soft skin will be dust in the fire of cremation,
teeth and bones will crackle with old age.
I know, I know, of the eternity of the self,
but I won’t be Anjani once again !
All that is dear will be lost and gone: family,
my Hanuman collection and my dog.
My sexy butt and little breast will be not more,
the sexy photos…all my paintings will be dust.
Yes, I do remember the non-attachment
Buddha preached in the gardens,
it is easier said than done…how can I forgive
your kisses and the way we make love?
I can run to the mountains and become a
drifter old Sadhu: matted hair, sprinkle
ashes of the dead all over my naked body,
roam the Ganges… you think that will do?
Maybe walking by the river, lifting little stones,
put them in my purse then build small castles,
and carve faces of ancient goddess
until the day I drop.
What if there is not purpose and just being here is
enough? Let the bees fly around me,
watch the sunset and enjoy the little time
I have remaining with or without you.
But how about the pain ? the loneliness, being
sad and sick ? don’t’ say “c’est la vie” , that’s life…
The hunger is so real, even baby Krishna was
a “butter thief”… you can see his dirty hands !
Some say I am enlightened or just a Divine
Colombian/Californian born slut…
that I have all the answers
but pretend that I don’t know…
Are we on some type of cruel vacation
on earth’s reality show ?
some say this body was created
by Aliens or by some God unknown…
All I want is your arms around me,
lay in bed by your side, use
all my senses: smell, touch and sight…
that will do it for me at least this time.
Just for one day I want to stop the madness
not more out-of-body talk;
keep kissing my neck and pull my hair
until I get lost.
Past, present and future get out of my way
once and for all …
To live here-now, what a silly little phrase !!!
I live there and then to get far, far away…
Anjani
march 19, 2014
