anjani siddhartha

Anjani Siddhartha

“In praise of aloneness”

In waken up in the mornings 

I can stretched  out in bed,

look at the clock by my side and 

go into the blankets again.

Then, walk naked into the

kitchen  to make black coffee

to start off my day.

No one to tell me “get dress !”

Tv or music ? my choice as well.

I can leave dirty the dishes and

panties at least for today,

Wash them later I may.

Driving my car in silence, except

for heavy metal and rock !

not one to tell me:

“please turn it off ! “

Not one to call… what a relief,

I can sit and just think.

this is my conclusion:

“Life is just a passing dream”

Keep on reading my new book:

“I Am That: Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj’’

until my eyes hurt and then 

go to my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class.

Write poems as they come to mind,

expose my feelings to the world at large,

Let my hair grow or cut it off 

without asking anyone.

Touch myself if the need arise, 

got to the market without a bra.

Speak little and reflect on life,

Just like a mime in a French park.

When sadness comes, let it be,

not need to fight…

smile on the mirrors one more time,

like so many times in the past.

Tears will fall as well, and that’s all right.

Not need to argue about politics

or the left and right,

neither religions and past lives.

When the day comes for Anjani to die,

certainly it won’t be the first time:

Bodies die alone all the time…

in Himalayan caves or in a trailer park.

It won’t make a difference,

to the body/mind…

I will follow the journey with

not one by my side.

I am a warrior , all right ,

of the dark and also the light.

Not stoping now, the price is

beyond this mortal life.

Anjani

July 22, 2014

“In praise of aloneness”

In waken up in the mornings 

I can stretched  out in bed,

look at the clock by my side and 

go into the blankets again.

Then, walk naked into the

kitchen  to make black coffee

to start off my day.

No one to tell me “get dress !”

Tv or music ? my choice as well.

I can leave dirty the dishes and

panties at least for today,

Wash them later I may.

Driving my car in silence, except

for heavy metal and rock !

not one to tell me:

“please turn it off ! “

Not one to call… what a relief,

I can sit and just think.

this is my conclusion:

“Life is just a passing dream”

Keep on reading my new book:

“I Am That: Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj’’

until my eyes hurt and then 

go to my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class.

Write poems as they come to mind,

expose my feelings to the world at large,

Let my hair grow or cut it off 

without asking anyone.

Touch myself if the need arise, 

got to the market without a bra.

Speak little and reflect on life,

Just like a mime in a French park.

When sadness comes, let it be,

not need to fight…

smile on the mirrors one more time,

like so many times in the past.

Tears will fall as well, and that’s all right.

Not need to argue about politics

or the left and right,

neither religions and past lives.

When the day comes for Anjani to die,

certainly it won’t be the first time:

Bodies die alone all the time…

in Himalayan caves or in a trailer park.

It won’t make a difference,

to the body/mind…

I will follow the journey with

not one by my side.

I am a warrior , all right ,

of the dark and also the light.

Not stoping now, the price is

beyond this mortal life.

Anjani

July 22, 2014

I don’t have to chew broken glass

to prove anything to anyone,

It is enough for me to know

what is behind the restless mind.

Not need for me to go to war,

that is what religions are for,

to bluntly say:

“I am right and you are wrong”

I am not new at this, 

I am an old wolf, can

trace my steps to the beginning

of it all…

Time is running out and soon

this body will have to go…

can’t say I am happy but

sad sure I am not.

Some may get angry by the

way I use some words,

I am not here to please,

so it It's Not My Fault.

The search for paradise went

on and on, until one day in the last

corner of the soul, not-thing was found,

ah ! the irony of this world….

Then I sat down on an imaginary rock:

“Mmm, so this is all a dream”

came a silent thought… “I” “me” “it” “them”

I get it…the beginning of it all…

Anjani

june 18. 2014

anjani siddhartha

I can easily pretend that all is well…
just keep on walking with my head 
held high, slight smile on my lips;
but each step will carry within the 
pain of previous lives’s broken dreams.

I can focus in the present, I know,
but that too will be pretending the
line from there to here
is an imaginary one…and from
now till then, a non existent time.

As to the where and how, it is
been my long time desire: to
see myself as the absolute,
without needs and longings;
the “other” disappearance…

But this physical reality hits me
in the head like a zen master with
an iron rod…. the mad monkey king
of the Chinese lore:
He hits, he prances and away he goes !

Then I lower my face and laugh,
a few minutes later I may cry…
then, my mystic mood sets in:
not face, not tears only light and dark.
Existence at its prime.

When I open my eyes,
I am still here, going nowhere…
eternal presence like a soft
breeze carrying a bittersweet lullaby.
Life’s eternal dance.

Anjani

July 16, 2014

I wish I was Kali….

When I read the news and see the child’s limbs

blown away by “smart” bombs and stupid brains

behind it all… I wish I was goddess Kali

to step on evil’s heads…

to unroot the violent end.

When it all began?  the hate, the division of the blind ?

Some may say “ Kali you are just as bad”.

But you must not forget : I destroy just the evil ones !

The ones that kill just because they can,

they love to inflict the pain, to cause the greatest harm…

Body, I know, it will not last; still, on this day,

I wish I was Kali at least once….

Anjani 

july 14, 2014

anjani siddhartha

See me pushing mind wall coverings 
to the side,
every single day since I wake-up…
daily living is an alibi.

What is my excuse for not being right?
I read “sacred books” and I laugh,
is it not enough to cry and dance?
to be here, to be alive?

I have enough of answers trying to
be “the one”,
just points of view that humans have
until the day the body dies.

Let me just hear the silent notes of
the wind outside,
not eyes, not windows…
sitting here-now with open hands.

Not way, not path… birds fly, sun shines,
water in my face, not future , not past…
sensations, mind movies…just watch.
Call it zen or nirvana, or not name is fine.

I AM here-now, can’t stop giggling at
this game of life…
even tragedies that break the heart,
at the end, I will still be ALIVE…

Anjani

July 3, 2014